Blogger's weird. It doesn't allow me to change the font. Hmm.

Credits to XISHIER! HAHA!!

Btw, the shot is lovely! (:

This is unlike my style to post such a lengthy post but well, since it's the last day of school, I'll make an exception.

Like what they say, parting is such sweet sorrow. I think that's utter rubbish. Lol.

Today's the last official school day and yea, there was farewell assembly, farewell concert and stuff to mark the end of our TJ journey.

Frankly, this 2 years in TJ has been the most memorable times of my life and 2 years ago when I first received the call from TJ that my PAE appeal was successful, I'd never have thought I'd have been what I am today. Forget about all those cliche stuff and really, who can say that TJ's not significant to a TJ-cian? Perhaps the school's just an old building that has really lousy architechture but the friends that I've made at TJ, I know they'll stay with me for life. I've never been able to say that of the friends I have met elsewhere but this bunch of people, the whacky 22/08, the crazy bunch of Beta HC-ians and of course the soccer girls.

2 years ago, I went to SAJC to appeal out of the school. I kept wondering if it was a right decision that I made. Ran up and down from SAJC to TJC just to get my appeal form in by 12 noon. Never did I know then, it was the start of 2 years of hectic and fulfilling time in TJ. Well, no one can tell the future right? Haha. But in any case, I vividly remembered the joy I felt when the school admin called and told me I'm in. Alright, I screamed for the first time in my life, probably. Haha.

Then was Zenith 1, and I can say it was a blast. I have never felt so much like a part, a significant figure in a larger community. It felt like TJ was the place to be. The seniors were amazing and I can say I really looked up to them as my role models. All I can say's that they really rocked socks! (:

Then came the choosing of our PDPs. Never would I have imagined myself running on the field with 9 others people chasing after the same goal, to get the ball into the goal. I remembered how I used to criticise soccer players on TV that it's such a pointless sport and all but after being in the TJ soccer team, I learnt otherwise. When you're on the pitch, you're alone yet not alone. Alone because when the ball's with you, you're the one who's playing the game. Not alone because you know 9 other people are backing you up. It was so unlike fencing or badminton when you're on the piste or on court, you're all alone. So what if your friends by the side or coach watching you is behind you? They're not there to support you, not there to give you the aid you need in the game. You wield the blade and racket with your own hands and you determine the outcome of the game. But soccer was different. Your team mates are on the pitch with you and you know they're there for you.

Although I played only one match in the entire season and as usual, I didn't perform up to standard. All I could hear was "Lavina! Run faster! Faster! You're faster than that!" But apart from the screams from Mr Lee, the scorching heat was the only other thing I felt. I was never so weak on the pitch before cos' of the heat and if you want to know what hell was like, the heat was like hell. But I don't want to disappoint my team mates just cos' I gave up. I trained for this and I was supposed to be able to do it. It was because of my team mates that kept me going.

I admit I was on the verge of dropping soccer. There were too many commitments that I took up but when the juniors came in, it reminded me the initial reason and motivation that made me join soccer. The soccer seniors inspired me like never before. They showed me what girls can actually do and all I can say is they rocked. The juniors made me want to inspire them like how the seniors inspired me. That was the awe of soccer. Thank you soccer girls for giving me such a marvellous experience.

Next, HC. It was really an ardous journey. I remembered the first time I asked about joining HC during the mass dance at Suntec during Zenith I. It was the cool bunch of seniors that made me consider joining HC. Cheerleading came along and meeting the wooshy cheerleaders sort of confirmed my decision to want to serve Beta House. All the events, from the first combined house event, CNY carnival, Road Run, Titans, T&F meet, Beta House Function, etc etc etc. I've never thought I'd have a chance to lead, to organise, to plan, to head any thing at all. But HC gave me just the opportunity to do all of that. Having to juggle between soccer and HC, there were several occasions where I kept asking myself where exactly I placed my emphasis on. So many things to do yet so little time. Plus there were studies to not neglect. It was a rather terrible time where I had to make sure everything's well balanced. Many a time I really felt like giving up but somehow I know perserverance will pay off in the end. And I guess it did. (:

And not forgetting 22/08! (: What can I say about this class man! Haha. They're the ones who brought more meaning to my TJ life. All I can say's that all of you are really amazing! (: From those buffets to those random outings like just to catch a movie and Pulau Ubin trip, you guys really taught me what friendship bonds were. Gotta sound cheesy but I REALLY LOVE YOU GUYS! (: Really looking forward to the class chalet though it's a pity not all of you all can make it. But wells, there're definitely some other chances where we will gather as one 22/08 again. Perhaps on every 22nd Aug will be the day we'll meet. (:

And specially to TJ 108, I've said so much about PW on the day of release for the results. We've screamed our hearts out and I can still say, that scene will always stay with me and it was truly the happiest day and best day of my life. (:

So many thing in 2 years but words can only express how I feel this much. Wish it didn't end all so soon but well, 天下没有不散的宴席. So just treasure whatever time we have remaining together though the toughest has yet to come.

But for now, WORK WORK WORK HARD AND ACE THE As! I CAN, I WILL AND I MUST! (: (: (:

The SUBSTITUTION EFFECT.

By the way, here's shot of the day for ice skating!


Been that always.

As usual, hope for the best.

PRELIMS, A LEVELS. :(

Studying is shit stuff. Really.

Have been neglecting this place since forever but well, doesn't really matter.

(I've seriously got no idea what I'm ranting about but I know I am so please if anyone gets here, don't bother reading the crap below. Haha.)

Everyone's really worried now but sighs, this is more worrying than ever. I know I shouldn't be even blogging now cos I'm suppose to use this time for a higher purpose like practising TSs, memorizing bio, chem, econs, or should be doing maths. But instead I'm blogging. How brilliant. Now I'm not even sure if I can make it through this all. Can no longer take it easy anymore after realising how far I am away from whatever that the As entail. It's all rubbish lah.

Sighs. And seriously, this kind of negative pressure can really drive one insane. Please lor, this is entirely rubbish cos' what happens if it drives everyone to insanity? Not possible but what if.

And whatever's not making it any easier at all. It's getting all crazy and stupid. On and off, on and off. Like inducer or repressor ar?! Crazy toad. Really, wish it was simpler.

Freak shit. Like seriously, what kind of life is this? Rubbish lah.

One more thing. Realise turning to someone's hard. Cos' I can't really find one to.

And this place is really going on hiatus. Won't be back for a really long time. Bye.

Oh my. Finally done with SGC after it's being deleted once. How stupid is that. But whatever the case, glad it's done after so long. It's just rubbish.

And seriously, I've gotta be a changed person as soon as I can afford it. Like really. Stop procrastinating and wasting time and all. Like blogging as well. Though I haven't been blogging for quite some time already. And plus, all that constant reminders that prelims is just 7 weeks away. How creepy is that. Oh man. I can't help but rant. Especially with all that's happening right now. Results not up to standard and prelims and more freaky, A's coming. What rubbish.

And really. If I really want to make it there, I've got to clear my GP well. But it's nowhere near well now. Sighs. Seems like everything's just not going my way. I hope things take a better turn once I get down to serious work and a more disciplined life. Like I have to cut down on TV, time wasting and more importantly, sleep. I'm sleeping way too much. Oh gosh. Just imagine the number of hours that can be used for work if I just sleep less. Ok. I've got to do it.

I don't know how I'll survive this. But I really have to. It's too much for me to take i know it but I don't have a choice since I got myself into this shit by making the JC choice.

The pressure's amounting to nothing like this before. And I seriously am creeped out by all this. I know everyone's going through the same phase right now but seriously, face up to reality. It's harder for me right now than anyone else, I know it myself. From the amount of work I'm doing and the amount of discipline I have, I'm definitely much further from the final target than anyone else. It may not appear so, but I know how much I'm away from it. And that's really far.


More discipline. Really. Cos you don't want to cry over milk spilled like this.

And I wish that won't have to add on to this burden cos' it's draining me more than ever, over and over again.